Burlesque the Musical has hit the West End and the critics are divided.

The show had some reported teething problems “Issues” raised with Equity over Burlesque the Musical but persevered and made it through to press night – where critics were more divided than Brexit, with everything from one to five stars awarded.

I didn’t go to review the show personally (my wonderful reviewer Stuart did that for me) but I did go to see it and so here are my thoughts (along with everyone else’s).

The biggest shock was The Guardian as I have always thought their critic, Arifa Akbar, hates theatre as never seems to have anything nice to say about anything but it seems I was wrong and this musical is right up their ally – being awarded the highest accolade. London Theatre Reviews called it the “must-see show of the summer” but I’d have to disagree. There is so much better on in the West End right now. Five stars this show is not.

The Guardian ★★★★★ “Christina Aguilera movie gets a gloriously ‘dirrty’ makeover”

London Theatre Reviews ★★★★★ “must-see show of the summer”

London Theatre ★★★★★ “this feast of sequins, spotlights and sultry striptease is a glitter-ordained marvel”

I was surprised at the amount of times during the show it mentions the outfits are designer because unless Shein is considered designer, they looked nothing of the sort.

A musical based on a film doesn’t need to stick to the complete original story but the decision for the musical to make it about Ali going to find her birth mother (who happens to run a burlesque club) and then getting a job there but never being given an opportunity to talk to her for long enough to reveal her parentage, is ridiculous.

The Telegraph call it “a cult hit in the making” which could be true – but not because of how good it is.

Radio Times ★★★★ “Camp, glitzy and hilarious, Burlesque The Musical is set to become a cult classic, just like the movie it’s based on”

The Telegraph ★★★★ “a cult hit in the making”

City AM ★★★★ “a true spectacle”

Personally, I’m really torn as to whether Burlesque is a two or three star show. It’s really somewhere in the middle but giving half stars is a bit silly and so I would agree with my reviewer and give it three stars. However, there was a lot I disliked. The script was cringeworthy, the constant breaking the fourth wall was tiresome and Todrick Hall’s shoe-horned-in character felt like nothing but a vanity project.

West End Wilma ★★★ “not every production needs to be “groundbreaking”

What’s On Stage ★★★ “frivolous and flimsy frolic”

Broadway World ★★★ “It’s not fabulous, but it’s perfectly fine”

West End Best Friend ★★★ “Though not without its flaws, Burlesque The Musical delivers an exciting night at the Savoy Theatre”

The Independent ★★★ “takes a gay cult classic and turns it into one helluva show”

The Stage ★★★ “Messy, over-extended movie musical adaptation”

Curtain Call Reviews ★★★ “bursting with talent and ambition”

Standard ★★★ “This enjoyably absurd musical based on an enjoyably humdrum film is far better than I could have anticipated”

Matinee Mouse ★★★ “a brim-full glass of bubbly that overflows with disorienting commercial spectacle”

The other plot line is the ex husband and one of the dancers at the club, stealing Ali’s inheritance money but then having a change of heart and giving it back to her – just in time to save the club from closing. The whole thing was bizarre.

Theatre and Tonic ★★ “has so much potential, but just isn’t quite ready for the West End”

All That Dazzles ★★ “it really could have been so much better”

The Reviews Hub ★★ “not yet fabulous”

One star from The Daily Mail to be honest was just rude. I’ve seen worse shows and despite all the things wrong with it, one star it did not deserve.

The Daily Mail ★ “A laborious theatrical rehash of an already lamentable film”

The performances are incredible and the powerhouse vocals insane (the Christina Aguilera riffing does become a little tiresome) – this cast are giving it their all.

Time Out a punishing three-hour adaptation of the 2010 Christina Aguilera film – approach with extreme caution

British Theatre Guide “high on spectacle and low on heart”

Would I recommend Burlesque the Musical? No. Fans of the film won’t like how different the story is (they should say ‘very loosely based on’) and people who appreciate big budget West End musicals will see this as a bargain basement production.

Burlesque, when done well is sexy and classy, done badly can be cheap and nasty – sadly Burlesque the Musical is the latter.